Because You Never Asked

ADVENTURES IN CAPITALISM, III

(8/09)

     In addition to the 3 essays now carrying this title, I have frequently written about the economic system now sodomizing the world. Perhaps the most central theme of this whole work can be pin pointed in the author’s belief that this particular economic system is the catalyst for every problem --- socially, ecologically, emotionally, politically --- now assaulting the fortifications of our sanity and well being. In the jargon of American propaganda, such a statement would stigmatize me with the label “communist”, which is something like calling a cage fighter a “sissy” with regard to American insults. This is born out in the fight to reform health care in the United States, where the rather lukewarm overhaul offered by President Obama, one still considerably to the right of anything in any other country, is being denounced as “socialism!” by the demagogic special interests out to defeat it.

     This is one of the great tragedies of the American discourse, one I’ve mentioned before in these pages. When it comes to economic systems --- or ways to develop and distribute the world’s resources, which seems a less abstract way of saying it, one more understood by the average citizen --- American rhetoric has shrunk the choices to just two: 1) a too pure form of free market capitalism, and 2) a too pure form of Stalinist communism. When one considers the almost infinite permutations and combinations of public-private, cooperative-competitive models for an economic system, the limitations imposed by “yanqui” propaganda could be considered hillbilly provincial (stupid?). It is something like telling an American football team it can only run the ball straight ahead.

     Over the years, this neo-liberal economic system has been attacked from all directions in these pages: its inequality of distribution, its ecological damage, its inefficient use and spectacular waste of resources, its hyper-consumptive necessities, its geo-political turmoil, etc. But perhaps its most damaging trait is also the most abstract and least measurable, that being the emotional idiocy of a system whose only incentives are materially driven in an overly competitive way. This has created an adolescent human being living in a high stress cage of ego oriented foolishness.

     Within this buffet of economic discussion, the “Adventures in Capitalism” series has evolved into a more specific role, that being to debunk the “ideological” assertions of neo-liberal capitalism. The word “ideological” is put in quotes because --- and this must never be forgotten --- those pushing this economic system have no ideology beyond their own self interest, for which “ideology” is just a smokescreen.

     Perhaps the First Commandment of the Gospel of Neo-Liberal Capitalism is embodied in the idea of commercial competition. If you let a free and unregulated market place function, those providing the best combinations of product, service and price will win the game and we will all profit from this.

     Even Sarah Palin can understand this simple concept, but when something as simple as this is offered as the panacea for something as complicated as an economic system in a complex industrial society, there is probably some slight of hand going on.

     My latest adventure in capitalism occurred while dealing with the omnipotent car rental industry (considering my adventures here, “omnipotent” seems the correct word). Some of the “slight of hand” I came across would make a professional magician proud --- unless he was renting a car.

     I’m kind of new to this car rental thing. When my elderly mother decided to stop being Mrs. Magoo and gave up driving, I was forced to rent a car during my annual visit to my family. This is the second year of such regimen and I’ve grown a bit wiser, meaning I’ll be cheated a bit less this year.

     As in most cases dealing with consumer satisfaction, cost is in the eye of the storm. In order to protect the guilty, I will not mention names here, other then to say my car rental company rhymes with “holler”.

     My annual family visits to the “old country” span 2 weekends totaling 10 days. Last year, being the complete novice I was, I booked a car for --- well --- 10 days. When I returned the car, I was astounded by a price that seemed quite exaggerated. Upon questioning the obesity of these charges, it was explained the daily rate goes up if you use the car for more than a week. Before getting to the numbers applicable for this year, which were considerably higher than the year before (I’m so glad inflation is under control), I’ll put it to you like this: for the two and a half days I kept the car beyond a week, a time span of about 30% more than 7 days, I was charged about 85% more, or not that far from double!

     Perhaps the greatest accomplishment of neo-liberal capitalism is how such bad news is always delivered politely and with a smile. This is called “customer service“, and it reaches its full expression when they are ramming it up your ass, even in the face of the mutterings and under the breath cursing of a disgruntled client.

     Anyhoo --- a year goes by, life goes on, and the car rental experience ends up in some obscure folder buried in the computer of your mind. When I started to get it together for this year, the seemingly high price of car rentals triggered my memory and the obscure folder was opened, reminding me of the more-than-a-week slight of hand. With my status now elevated from “novice” to “average sucker”, I weighed my options. If I kept the car for 7 days, it would cost 500 plus dollars. If I kept it two and a half days more, it would cost around $900! Upon further review, these turned out to be similar ball park figures for all the omnipotent (I told you) car rental companies, including the one that rhymes with Mavis, the one that rhymes with nifty, the one that rhymes with fudge-it, the one that rhymes with Fred and Ethel’s last name, the one where Davy Crockett died, the one with the same name as Capt. Kirk’s spaceship, the one with the same name as the baseball team in Washington, D.C., --- and anything else that came up on the bimbo-brained computer.

     This was followed by consultation with my bloodline in the old country, where it became evident vehicular transport could be provided on the final weekend. As a result, the car rental company that rhymes with “holler” only gets to rip me off in the nominal way it rips off everyone, but does not get to laugh at me for the idiocy of falling for the ol’ extra two and a half day ruse.

     It’s time to get serious. How does this situation debunk some of the Holy Rules of the Gospel of Neo-Liberal Capitalism?

     The first thing that seems alien to the capitalist process is that people are being charged a proportionally higher price for buying more bulk. For instance: if you buy a gallon of milk, it is more expensive than a quart, but you get that extra amount at a proportionally lower price. That is why you see diligent mothers of large families buying Listerine bottles the size of a punch bowl. It would be hard to believe all these car rental companies, when they buy 500 cars at a time, pay the same proportionally as the individual consumer does. In every purchasing situation I’ve ever anteed-up for, if you buy more you get it at a proportionally cheaper price. Even Sarah Palin can understand that.

     And yet, the car rental industry does it the other way around; they charge more proportionally for renting the car longer. I think they have some “splainin” to do, and here is why:

     Being that all these companies are doing this, it seems one of the most iconic rules of the Gospel is being squashed like a cockroach under the heavy boot of thieving bull crap. Why is it that the competition of the market place does not adjust this situation? Isn’t there somebody in this whole industry that can deliver the extra two and a half days without pulling this hilarious joke on the consumer? Isn’t there an over paid CEO anywhere looking at this practice and saying, “hey, why don’t we just charge the same rate no matter how long somebody has the car? We could pry away a lot of business that way”. Unless all these companies are losing money on the weekly rate, something that would seem as close to impossible as impossible can be, that Holy Rule of the competitive market place should kick in --- should kick in --- should kick in --- I’m still waiting. Do you get that Sarah?

     They must be laughing their butts off in the first class sections of the planes, in the Admiral’s Club waiting rooms, in the luxury boxes at Yankee Stadium, in the locker rooms of the golf clubs --- it’s just so easy. Just tell them how great they are simply because they are Americans; just tell them this is how we do it in America, and --- its hilarious --- they’ll end up defending insurance companies that have been colossally stealing from them for generations. Just make sure they have a color TV and a hamburger to eat everyday, and they’ll believe anything! --- yes, I’ll have the Malayan “langostino” as a starter --- ha, ha, ha --- forgive me, but it’s so funny. P.T. Barnum had it wrong,

     there’s a sucker born every second --- I‘m laughing so hard I‘m choking --- waiter, please, some water.  

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Email: JerryG@postcman.info